i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
