I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
