Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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