I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
