she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
