M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
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I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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