Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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