Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
