I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
