I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Walk of Shame today included voting.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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