haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Randomize