dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she looked like the before picture.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
