Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
