Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want to make out with him forever
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize