Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
