that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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