I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
