i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
