Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she smelled like a LAN party
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
pray to the hookup gods
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
