There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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