thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
