So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize