so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
