I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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