3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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