it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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