You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
