why im i the only drunk person in the library?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
