no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
