He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
