The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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