She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
