just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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