Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
