I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
