so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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