i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
