so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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