he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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