i would punch a child for taco bell
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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