They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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