I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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