Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
