dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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