mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
