Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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