Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have aggressive nipples.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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