happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
