something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
