yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
