I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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