Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
