do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
