Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
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I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
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Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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