Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
dude. I can hear the air.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
