I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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