Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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